A Chance Encounter

 This is the memoir of an incident we encountered in July 2005.

The mood was upbeat; we were polishing off our holiday to Bali with some shopping at Singapore’s Mustafa Store (A Mecca for bargain shopping located in the Little India town at Singapore). We had picked up a Home Theatre System we had been eyeing for a while (apart from other knick knacks) and were very happy at the bargain we got. We waited excitedly with our shopping trolley outside the store, to go to the airport. We beckoned passing taxis but since we were amongst the many persons waiting we were competing to get to a stopping cabbie before anyone else did. Our luggage was affecting our agility in this awkward competition. With every passing moment (and every failed attempt to get a taxi!!) we were getting anxious as the time for our return flight was approaching. We then spotted a taxi stand round the corner and promptly landed up there and joined the queue. At the end of the queue with about 6-7 persons ahead of us, it seemed that we were going to have a long wait – not a very comforting fact. However we stayed in the queue brimming with anxiety and worry. The taxi drivers savoring the rush hour moments seemed to be choosy in picking up destinations (Yes, it happens in Singapore too!!). Prabha rushed up (out of turn) to the cabbie every time he showed a slight reluctance in ferrying the passenger at the front of the queue to his preferred destination. “Will you then take us to Changi?” she used to say, hoping to find favour. But it was not to be. And to be fair, we were way behind in the queue to really get away with it. We continued our now seemingly endless wait for a taxi looking into the horizon for the next one.

“You wanted to go the airport, come over and join me” is what I thought I heard. Was he talking to me? Before I could gather myself and figure out “You wanted to go to the airport, I am going there too” said this middle aged Indian looking gentleman in a white T-Shirt readying to get into the taxi, this time pointing to me and clarifying that he was indeed talking to me. It was his turn in the queue and he had probably noticed a harried Prabha mention “Airport, airport” umpteen number of times. However before I could say anything, another person behind me in the queue jumped at the offer and said.. “I will join you”. “Look I have already made them the offer, if they don’t take it you are welcome or alternately, if all of us can fit in, I have no problems” said our man, who by now I noticed had decided to move to the front seat.  We were very glad at this favorable resolution and quickly dumped our boxes in the boot of the taxi before comfortably ensconcing ourselves in the rear seat. The other person walked back to join the queue much to our relief!!

We were so glad that we were on the way to the airport and thanked the gentleman profusely for well ‘being such a gentleman’.

Prabha had got a sandwich and burger packed from the nearby outlet while I was settling the bill at Mustafa’s. This was to be our lunch. We immediately began gorging on our eats blissfully oblivious of the gent in the front seat.  We however made a perfunctory offer to share the sandwich, which he politely turned down saying “Thanks, but I am sure you’ve had a busy day so you must be hungry”.  We got chatting during the course of which I realized that he was on his way from Taipei to Bangalore and had come for a dekko at the latest PDAs during the stopover. He looked tired and weary and as during conversations with any stranger, the mind started putting stereotypes together. We decided that he was probably a middle-level/ senior management professional from a small / medium sized company. On being asked about us we said  “We are coming from Bali and are on our way to Mumbai” we said.  “Oh Wow, how is Bali?”  He was curious.

“I want to go there on my next family holiday,” he said. I looked at Prabha and smiled (which I don’t think he noticed as he was looking ahead), this was not the first time we had heard this. Almost everyone to whom we mentioned our plans for Bali would say that. Some of them meant it, though some of them said so, just so as not to be left out in a true keep up with the Joneses’ style. We didn’t quite know which category our friend belonged to. “What is there to see in Bali? ” he asked. “Well, Bali is a tourist spot whose eternal appeal lies in its discovery. It has various facets to its mystique and it unveils itself layer by layer…” I replied stiffly with an almost a bookish language that tried to fake the élan of a seasoned ‘been there done that’ globe trotting millionaire traveller. But he would have nothing of it. “ No, but what does all this mean, what is good about Bali and is it worth visiting” he said. That did it and before I realized, I was now telling him all I felt about Bali, its cultural glory, its world famous unspoilt beaches, its bluer than blue waters ideal for snorkeling and scuba diving (incidentally, the latter was of most interest to me) and everything I liked about it, place where we stayed, food etc, all this with childlike excitement. Since all of this came out (rather poured) straight from the heart, I didn’t realize that I was talking a lot, until a small nudge from Prabha shook me. She gave me a look that suggested that I have talked too much (the usual women thing you see!!).  I flinched from the shock of that nudge and returned that look to Prabha “There is something in Bali for every kind of tourist” I continued, unscathed by the rude interruption. All this while our friend was very intently listening to my travelogues with his nodding and exclamations suggesting that he was equally involved in the talk (or is that what I thought? - I would never know !!!). While I had said most of the things I thought a traveler to Bali ought to know, I realized that I would be failing in my duty supremely if I didn’t tell him about something that had bothered us. “Sir, vegetarian food is a problem in Bali just in case you are a vegetarian like us” I said feeling relieved. “So what did you do” he wanted to know. I could see Prabha looking at me shockingly, but I ignored her “Simple, we cooked!! Our apartment had a proper kitchenette and we cooked our vegetarian food” That was it – Prabha thumped her forehead and leaned towards the far end of the wide seat of the Toyota Crown taxi. She was obviously upset at me having revealed something that she thought would make us look like aliens  - someone from the African tribes or something. After all Bali with its varied cuisine is known to be a foodie’s delight. And here I was telling him that we cooked. “Oh really” he said and started laughing. I was absolutely non-plussed.. My mind was conjuring up images of Prabha later telling me ‘I told you so’. But what happened thereafter was something that vindicated my frank talk.

“You won’t believe this, but we did the something similar on our trip to Europe” he began and went on to narrate some such interesting anecdotes of his travel and we were all enjoying his no bars conversation. He was a well-traveled gentleman and by now it was clear that he was also a very humble human being. Our conversations started getting interesting and there seemed to be a ‘bluetooth’ connectivity that got established between three of us, the common factor being a love for travel.

Just then I noticed the ‘Welcome to Changi’ signboard. For once we were not relieved that the destination had arrived. Our conversations had just begun and were becoming very absorbing every passing minute. But it was time to move on. “Send me some dope on Bali when you reach home” he reminded me. Meanwhile I handed over to him some printouts of the information about Bali, I had downloaded from the internet and were there in my bag. The terminal arrived and our friend promptly paid off the cabbie. “I would have come to the airport anyways” said he when I offered to split the fare. We thanked him for the ride and the good time that we shared. We exchanged business cards with customary greetings (though I saw his card only cursorily, thinking about my luggage which was still in the taxi boot) and parted ways.

I hadn’t however missed the logo of a famous Indian software house on his card. After unloading my home theatre boxes from the taxi on to the luggage trolley, I looked at the card again and what I saw changed my image of the man. His demeanor - humble behaviour and extremely simple personality void of any flamboyance - concealed a very successful businessman, a very committed professional and a very intellectual soul. Yes - the co-founder of one of the most successful software companies in India has to be all of this and more. I looked around hastily to locate him. He was gone. He had been sitting in the front seat of the taxi and we had been at the back seat so we hadn’t even had a good look at him. I told Prabha about him and his stature while lugging our trolley to the counter and talking about how lucky we were to have met him and at the same time foolish to have been unable to recognize him. We were enjoying recalling and discussing the conversations during the taxi ride. Then I suddenly noticed him. He was standing just outside the terminal building with a colleague (or friend) peacefully smoking a cigarette. Maybe he was planning for his next million-dollar project looking at the smoke. We waved at each other; it was time to bid adieu to Mr S Janakiraman – Co-founder of Mindtree Consulting. Salaam Sir!!!

The Ceremonial Exit

This was the spontaneous outpouring of some of my thoughts when I saw a friend going through a 'not so pleasant' exit from his organisation.

This article was published by Economic Times dt 28th Sept 1998
 
The inevitable happens - your employee leaves you. He leaves you because he wants to, or even maybe sometimes you want him to. This is one of the things a dynamic and fast changing economy brings with it- turbulence in the work environment. When times are good, your employees are wooed for better compensation, better job status and a better job environment and on the contrary in tough times the employees are shown the door by way of VRS or simply due to non-performance/ non-conformance. Sure no employee is indispensable and thus a voluntary / involuntary exit of an employee from your organisation may not be a big deal after all. But the trail he leaves behind could say a lot about the undercurrents within an organisation. It is these undercurrents in the organisation that drive the grapevine circuit and cause the rest of the employees to form an opinion about the goings on in the organisation. And it is prudent on the part of the senior management to have a pulse on these undercurrents. An Exit Interview is one way to keep a tab on these undercurrents and the grapevine mill that runs overtime in these times. An Exit interview is a forum in which a conversation is facilitated with the outgoing employee and he is invited to identify some major/ minor or even apparently non-issues but persistent aggravations which have been difficult during the period of his employment. Thus Exit interview is a very useful tool to obtain feedback on what you are doing good and what you are doing bad that you could do better 

The way an Exit interview is conducted is the single most important factor determining the depth and nature of the elicited information being divulged 

A moderator can make or break the chord of trust between the employee and the interviewer. Effective moderation and listening are the key for a useful and effective Exit Interview. The interview should be conducted by a person at least one (if not two) rungs above the normal reporting level of the outgoing employee in the presence of an H.R person. The general climate of such a discussion should be congenial, which will help the employee get into a receptive mood. Effective listening which involves paying attention to the spoken word (cognitive message) as well the non verbal communication forms the key to understanding the feelings and concerns of the individual at a subconscious level. And it is this information that is the most valuable feedback you can ever get. 

Questions can magically facilitate the conversation. They help in getting more information, establish mutuality, clarify matters and most importantly stimulate thinking. The questions posed to the interviewee should be in the form of short, light and loose-ended remarks that invite a thoughtful and verbose response from the interviewee. Questions like " Tell us one single thing you would do in the organisation, if you were given a magic wand…" or "What is the most interesting part of the job you are leaving behind? …." Or "How could we make life easier for your successor?" normally do the trick and sets off the interviewee into spewing out deep-rooted thoughts of his mind. A very frank and openhearted discussion can be expected at this stage as the occasion is devoid of any stakes, biases and prejudices from either side. Carefully and uninterruptedly listen to what is being said. Remember this interview is primarily a time to listen not to debate. Defensiveness and arguments serve no purpose at this stage and in-fact could hinder the process of information gathering. Cursory remarks like "…. Okay... Tell us more…" and ell us more…" and " So... That explains it…" should keep the interviewee going. 

During the interview always elicit information about 

• The interesting, frustrating, demanding, constraining and unpleasant aspects of the job 
• Gaps in rewards and benefits he is now going for - but you didn’t offer. 
• The work environment and the relationships between co-employees 

Therefore the interviewer should be prepared for the unexpected - bombshells disclosures, accusations, admissions etc. In fact these ingredients often make up a successful Exit Interview. Remember- would you have ever got such information from a current employee? 

The Exit interview is also a perfect opportunity to form an opinion about whether to re-employ the person concerned. It may not be bad idea after all to consider his re- employment, if the roadblocks that caused him to quit are removed some time in the future and also the employee concerned shows willingness. Did someone say that a known devil is better than an unknown one is? 

It is also observed that though most well meaning HR personnel understand the importance and use of an exit interview, they tend to go about it as a mundane ritual rather than as a serious exercise. This is because they suffer from what is called " Know it all syndrome". They think they know what the outgoing employee feels and also why he feels that way. They work on assumptions rather than reasoning, they are victims of selective perception and look forth to corroborate their hypotheses rather than reach out for and elicit some useful, unusual and critical information being sent out by the Interviewee and thus end up making the whole affair nugatory. 

A very likely situation is where the outgoing employee gives and so also seeks feedback about his ways of functioning. If ever you come across such a situation - do oblige. The feedback you offer should be constructive and not vindictive Fortunately for us here in India, the Indian employment scene is not deteriorated to the extent that an employee sues an employer for giving ‘unsatisfactory reasons’ for his termination. (Something that the employers dread abroad and thus shy away from an Exit Interview.) Such an excellent feedback exchange session just shows that you have gained enough trust of the outgoing employee and thus successfully transformed him from a colleague to a friend for life. What better way to bid adieu ?

A Beginning.

Finally, I have created my blog.

I have been writing things here and there about whatever sets me thinking, weaving it into a story or an article and have been sharing it with friends. In some cases, I also make the extra effort of getting it published in papers to take it to a larger audience.

I'll begin by putting those articles or pieces on the blog which have been written before at the same time I am promising myself to post here as often as I think I have something sensible to share.

Thanks,